“I’m buying (insert latest popular, well marketed pistol) for my wife,” some lucky gals husband declares beaming at me with pride.
“That’s awfully generous of you! Did she specifically ask for that model?” I ask hoping she did, otherwise I’m going to have to have “The Talk.”
“No,” he replies, “but so-and-so says it the best gun for women on the market”. I cringe. Here we go…
Don’t get me wrong, this guy is AWESOME and I know he has the best intentions. He wants to surprise his wife with a wonderful gift meant to protect the life he so obviously cherishes, with THE BEST the industry has to offer. This is beautiful! A word of caution though to all men considering buying their wife a gun, this could also end in disaster, just like trying to buy your wife lingerie. There are a few who manage to crack the code and buy the perfect gun, but they are certainly in the minority.
I hear this complaint from women all the time, both personally and in online gun groups. Its rarely spoken of outside the sisterhood. We don’t want to seem ungrateful, but a firearm is such a personal item. Since you can’t return a firearm, and will definitely lose money on a trade, a wrong purchase can lead to disappointment.
So before you end up selling that gift in a parking lot to a buyer on Craigslist, gentlemen, please hear me out!
Fit
Does the gun fit her hand? More specifically, can she reach the mag release easily? Can she grip the gun comfortably? Without her input, you don’t know. Will she like the trigger pull? Women have about ½ to ⅔ hand strength compared to men. What feels great to you, may not feel that way to her. If it doesn’t fit or the trigger is too heavy, it will be unpleasant or difficult to shoot. The point is to encourage regular training, not discourage it.
Beware of Marketing
There’s a phrase in the industry: “Shrink it and pink it.” This phrase is so condescending. Micro pistols are notoriously unpleasant to shoot, and some women hate the thought of being pushed toward pink guns. It’s like a car salesman trying to sell us a car based on color- we want to know about the features!
Concealability
Some men buy their wives guns for concealed carry without the consideration of concealability. Concealability is a major issue; many women find it difficult to carry and maintain their sense of style. This is one of the top barriers to women carrying daily. I love shooting full size guns. A classic 1911 or the Glock 19 are some of my favorite guns to shoot, but these are very difficult for ladies to conceal. Without her input, this gift might not fit her body well, and might not be carried.
Solution
So what’s a guy to do? I suggest surprising her with a gun shopping date. This is a gift, and shopping for it together could be a lot of fun!
Find a range that rents firearms and let her try them out before deciding on one. If you don’t have a range nearby that rents firearms, let her grip and dry fire as many as she would like. Just remember to check with the sales associate first, since some firearms, typically older rimfire, can be damaged by dry firing.
If that’s not something you’re interested in doing, I suggest encouraging her to get involved with an organization like The We’ll Armed Woman. Their instructors can help ladies make the best choice to meet their needs. They’re a non profit shooting organization for women that seeks to “Educate, Equip, and Empower women” in the safe use of firearms. There are chapters nationwide that meet monthly, and they have comprehensive online resources specifically for women. Got to www.thewellarmedwoman.com for more information, and www.twawshootingchapters.org for chapter membership.
Or, you could just ask her what she wants.
Women like to have choices, and you know what they say, “Happy wife, happy life!”
Autumn
As a a rape, domestic violence, and stabbing survivor Autumn promotes and advocates for self-defense training, concealed carry, firearm safety, and continued firearms training. She hopes that by sharing her experiences, she will help change the public’s perception of who a gun owner is, and why the Second Amendment is so important for all Americans, especially women.
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You’re right about how husbands should consider the fit of a gun before buying one for their wives. There are a few types of guns that I would like to carry, but a few of them don’t quite have the right fit because I have really small hands. This makes it difficult to carry these types of guns, so asking for your wife’s input about guns that she feels like would be a good fit is a great piece of advice. Thanks for the tips!
My husband wants to buy me a gun, so I thought I’d do a little digging. I wanted to know exactly how hard it would be to get myself licensed to carry, along with how to buy me one. Thanks for the process, hopefully, I can figure out the concealing part.
Hi Jessie, how hard it will be to get your licence to carry depends on your state. It can range from no licence needed to impossible to get a licence. With regards to buying a gun I can’t recommend enough that you try them out before buying, perhaps check out the women’s shooting groups like the well armed woman who will help you figure out what you want and need
I like what this article mentions about the concealability of a gun. I think that having a smaller gun that is easy to keep hidden could be beneficial to my wife. I’ll have to keep this in mind when looking to buy her a gun as I don’t think she would want to carry around a larger, more intimidating, one.
Good piece. Though it surprises me that someone would think it sensible to buy a firearm for anyone else, without having them alongside trying them out. (I would be simply terrified of presenting my missus with lingerie).
Might be worth working on those renowned female soft skills though, and learn to communicate ‘without sounding ungrateful’. :o) “Rarely spoken of outside the sisterhood”, forsooth !
Very good point, John. As a woman, I’d be ticked off if my husband bought a gun for me……..I would want to go and practice with it and pick one out myself. Guns are very personal and each person has to choose their own gun. I would be especially upset if he bought me a little, pink handled gun…….I think he knows I would turn around and use it on him before returning it to the store. Very insulting.
I bought my wife a Glock 19 Gen 4, specifically because she’s a lefty and because of the backstraps. I picked the Glock because if something happened to me, I wanted her to be able to pick up my Glock and not have to learn new controls/grip in a potentially critical situation.
The only reason I would be buying my wife a gun is if it is ok the “Blue Label” list and the price is less because I bought it.
That being said I have offered my wife as much time as she wants to find “her gun”. Since she mentioned wanting one we have spent a decent amount of time at gun shops, with her mother who is looking as well. The only thing I say when they are looking is things that they will want to understand better as they are both buying their first gun and suggestions of guns that are around the same size as what they have told me they are looking at/what is a similar feel to what they have liked at other shops.
My wife was telling me that she might want to get a gun, and I was curious about how you would get the right one. It’s interesting that you say to make sure that the gun fits her hand. It would be nice to know that she will be comfortable when she is using the gun.